Angel Avenger
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Jade and the family are bored. Bored enough to take a vacation in another world! Now they're off to the Marvelverse and making waves...or they would be had they not had a mishap with the bifrost and the older pathways they were taking. Now all three groups are stranded across time and space. Can Jade find her brothers or will they have to deal with Fury first? Sequel to Jade Angel.
1. Chapter 1

Jade was about to pop in a movie when Dean asked something that had everyone staring at him.

"Say that again?"

"Is it possible to visit these other Earths Gabriel mentioned, or do you have to be an angel?"

"Dammit Dean, I told you to drop this! It's not like we can..."

"Actually it's possible, but we would need approval from three arch angels, or Dad," interrupted Gabriel.

Dean suddenly grinned. Sam looked defeated. He had hoped Dean would just initiate a prank war like usual.

"Well I count three arch angels and a seraph," he said.

Gabriel perked up, before he looked at Jade.

"Fine, but this counts as our vacation. Ever since _Redemption_ I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop before I made another Raziel movie," sighed Jade.

She could retire now and never have to worry about money again with how much the Secret Angel series had netted her. She had doubled the amount in vaults from where it had been first year!

"Since that's settled... Where should we go?" grinned Gabriel.

And that sparked off another debate that lasted _hours_. Fortunately Crowley showed up in time to get the general gist and throw his two bits in.

* * *

"I say X-Men!" said Jade.

They had agreed on Marvel, but not _where_ in the Marvelverse.

Sam and the others sat on the outskirts waiting for Dean and Jade to make up their minds.

"_Iron Man_!"

Sam had enough.

"How about we just do the _Avengers_ and be done with it? Don't the X-Men eventually join that group anyway?" he asked.

"We know that. But we're trying to figure out which movie to jump in first," said Dean.

Sam glared at them both.

"_Iron Man_, because there is no way in hell we'll pass for mutants and that way Gabriel gets to screw with Loki's head once we get there," said Sam flatly.

That and he wasn't about to deal with a chick who used _storms_ as her mutant power. Even if Wolverine was the best sorta hero in the entire group.

He wasn't good. He wasn't evil. He was himself and damn what people thought about him. Pretty much a more rugged and grumpier version of Jade.

"Which Iron Man?"

"The first one of course! We can buy a ton of stocks with the cash you have here and really screw over Stane!" said Dean eagerly.

"I don't think that kind of cash would carry between worlds," said Sam exasperated.

"It does, but you have to fill out a form with Yuuko-chan to get the card," corrected Gabriel grinning.

"Yuuko-chan?" said Jade.

"Time-space witch. She lives in Japan," said Castiel.

"I have her number," offered Gabriel.

"Luc, hand me the phone. The sooner I fill out that form, the more time we'll have to screw everyone over on our vacation," said Jade.

That got a cheer out of Dean and Gabriel.

Lucifer kept his silence, though he did have one question.

Like how they were going to deal with an inter-world transfer in the event the Asgardians happened to be using their Bifrost bridge at the same time. From what he saw that thing could possibly interfere with their method of jumping worlds enough to cause problems.

It was something that would bite them all in the ass later, because one of the three groups would end up in the wrong time.

* * *

Yuuko Ichihara, the Time-Space Witch. Also a known expediter when it came to applying for an inter-world card that would allow someone to access their money on any planet, realm or dimension. There were some requirements though.

One had to have the right aura or magic-type to power the card itself, they had to have enough currency to make it worthwhile, and here was the biggest requirement... Yuuko had to like them.

Yuuko was a finicky person by nature, and getting on her good side long enough to apply for the damn thing was tricky enough.

Fortunately for Jade, Yuuko also happened to be a huge fan of her Raziel movies, particularly the main character's personality.

"So we good?" asked Gabriel, leaning against the fence.

Jade held up what appeared to be a plastic credit card. She also had a new bag around her shoulder.

"What is that?" asked Dean.

"Goody bag. I paid Yuuko enough so she could afford some seriously high class liquor and promised to give her tickets to the next movie when I finally get around to making it."

"Wow...she must _really_ like you to give you this stuff," said Gabriel, looking through it.

"She said the way I screwed over the European branch of the MoM amused her so much she had to do something to repay me for it," said Jade.

Ever since Jade took herself 'off the market' when it came to marriage and had publicly denounced England's magical society, there had been several big events.

For one thing, the pure bloods were no longer in control of the Ministry. They had been thrown out by the first gens, and the place had undergone a complete overhaul. Several laws were already overturned and many more were under either revision or were about to be rejected outright.

The goblins were planning another rebellion because several kept trying to get their greedy hands on Jade's fortune. Fortunately since a majority of those idiots had no idea she had changed the vault name, their attempts were very unsuccessful. There was a reason why Jade only kept a quarter of her real fortune in the hands of Goblins. They, thankfully did not take this fact personally.

The biggest one, in fact the only thing Jade actually took note of, was that Hogwarts was _finally_ becoming a respected school again. After being ousted as Headmaster, McGonagall learned from the mistake Dumbledore made and actually asked the first gens for advice. Students could now take their A-levels and get into college whether they were first gens or not. The teachers had noted an increase in the legibility of the papers handed in with the addition of actual _English_ classes. Snape himself had been removed from the school and was currently facing several charges for all the damage he inflicted on his students.

His caustic personality and cruel remarks caused a good deal of resentment towards him, and several barristers who had graduated while he was teacher were more than happy to take him down several pegs.

"Holy crap, is this what I think it is?" asked Sam.

"If you're asking whether Yuuko-san gave me several copies of psychic paper so you no longer need a fake badge, the answer is absolutely yes. Apparently the Doctor is real, he just lives several dimensions over and occasionally comes by to visit Yuuko for tea. She's agreed to hand him my address once we get back," said Jade.

"Sweet. I so want his autograph," said Sam grinning happily.

"You and me both," said Jade amused.

"What's psychic paper?" asked Dean.

Jade took one of them out of the bag, and then flipped it open. Dean read what it said.

"_Married and completely out of your league._"

A few seconds later it changed.

"_Agent Danielle Black, FBI._"

"It basically shows anything you want. So if you want people to believe you're FBI, Secret Service, hell even Homeland Security, all you have to do is keep that in mind and it will create a fake badge for you. Complete with seals and everything," said Jade.

"Doctor Who uses it to get into places he normally can't, and even makes fake invitations," said Sam.

"Useful," said Dean.

"Watch this," said Sam smirking.

"_Federal Booty Inspector_? Sammy, you dog!" said Dean proudly. He knew he would corrupt his brother eventually!

* * *

"So we're all set?" asked Jade.

Hati and Skoll were in special pet carriers that were shrunk and put into Jade's bag. They were under a sleeping potion in case the travel got too rough.

Fenrir, Sleipnir and Jörmungandr were all going to be split up between the three groups.

For the first group there was Gabriel, Jor and Sam. They would be the ones leading the other two.

For the second was Lucifer, Jade, Fenrir and the two hell hounds. Hedwig would follow them once they landed and Jade sent the signal. She rarely let her master out of her sight after being reunited with her.

The last group was Castiel, Sleipnir and Dean. Because Cas was the lowest ranked angel in the group, he would have to follow the first two. Or as Dean called it, followed their slipstream into the alter Earth so they didn't get lost. Apparently traveling between worlds took an enormous amount of energy, more than time travel could.

Between all three groups was a bag containing whatever they would need to blend in or survive long enough to find the other two. These bags were carried by Sam, Dean and Jade respectively.

Crowley had wished them good luck and told Jade to keep the idiot brothers in line. It wasn't clear whether he meant the hunters or the angels, but Jade was of the opinion he meant _both_.

Now they all agreed to go to the first _Iron Man _movie. It offered the highest potential for fun.

Besides, it would give Jade more time to buy most of the Stark stocks and really annoy Tony later.

"Ready and waiting. By the way, I hope none of you are upset about the quick stop," said Gabriel.

"If you mean visiting the twins you had with Sigyn, I'm fine with it. It's about time I met them anyway," said Jade.

Gabriel had, more or less, adopted Jade as his 'daughter'. It was mostly because the kids had adopted Jade as their 'little' sister and Jade had accepted the idea. So Gabriel effectively became the closest thing she had to a father.

Thing was, he really, really didn't want to run into his ex-wife. Sigyn held one _hell_ of a grudge and she had a good aim with her throwing knives. She was still pissed he took so long to tell her his real name.

And going to see the twins meant he risked running into her.

Jade had assured Gabriel she would distract the woman while he made a run for it. What she _didn't_ say was how long she would give him.

"Hold on tight kiddies!"

There was a whoosh that felt very different from apparition, and when they landed Dean was sick to his stomach. That was infinitely worse than a damn port key! Sam wasn't much better.

"Easy boys! Try not to hit us with that," said Gabriel.

"_Do you hear an idiot outside brother?"_

"_Can't be dad. He knows mom likes to pop...in...Holy crap, brother look who's outside! Talk about brave!"_

Jade snorted in amusement. Clearly Narvi and Vali were well aware of Sigyn's anger towards their father.

"Vali! Narvi! Guess who I brought with me!" said Gabriel loudly.

The twins came out of their house to find the group. They took one look at Gabriel, but their their focus was entirely on Jade. Mostly because out of the siblings, they were the last to meet her. Hel had given them a discription.

"So this is our new little sister."

"Welcome to our messed up family, Jade," said Vali.

"Or should we call you Raziel?" grinned Narvi.

"Either one is fine. Want some blackmail on Gabriel?"

"Only always!" they laughed in unison.

Jade smirked, then handed over several photos. She had these prepared once Gabriel mentioned seeing the twins first.

Gabriel took one look at a few of them an paled.

"You didn't..."

"I have here every peace of blackmail I've gathered on Gabriel for the past two years."

"Evil," said Gabriel.

Narvi and Vali grinned at her.

"You're going to fit in just fine little sis," they said.

"Dear god, it's like dealing with Gred and Forge all over again," shuddered Dean.

"Who are Gred and Forge?" asked Vali.

"The Weasley twins. Known pranksters and the current owners of the _Secret Angel Store_...which sells Weasley's Wizard Wheezes when Crowley's not there to get on their case," smirked Jade, "Want the address?"

"Will we be obligated to behave?"

"You can stay at my house, but I'll give you a list with pictures on who you can't prank if you want to really have fun. Just be warned, Crowley can give as good as he gets if you get him really riled up," said Jade.

"I think we've unleashed a monster," said Gabriel to the others.

"What was your first clue? The fact she pranked us when Famine affected her or when she started that prank war last month that had all of us cringing when she did that laugh?" deadpanned Dean.

Jade had, upon watching the original _Slayers_ series, copied Naga the White Serpent's laugh. While Lucifer loved Naga's outfit, that laugh creeped him the hell out!

"So where are you guys heading anyway?" asked Narvi.

"Marvelverse. Specifically the _Iron Man_ movies," said Jade.

The twins winced.

"Watch out for the bifrost. Last time we went to one of the Marvel alters, it knocked us off course and we had to wait for the time line to catch up before we could leave again."

"Wait, I thought this sort of thing had to be approved by three high ranking angels?" asked Dean.

"For an angel to go yes, but if you're not from the heavenly sect Dad belongs to, then all you need is knowledge of how to travel through the Yggdrasil. One of the Loki's from that side of the universe showed us the old paths," said Vali.

"We may have altered that timeline though..." said Narvi sheepishly.

"That's why their called _alternate_ universes. If god didn't want things to be tweaked, then he wouldn't have allowed for the multiverse theory," said Jade.

"Good point," said Vali.

Gabriel cackled evilly.

"I so can't wait to mess with Fury and Loki," he said, rubbing his hands together like an evil villian.

"And to think, people once said Lucifer was evil before I slowly started to change their minds," said Jade rolling her eyes. The twins cracked up.


	2. Chapter 2

They spent almost week at the twins house, and would have been there a full week had Sigyn not shown up. That had them leaving after a good laugh at Gabriel's expense when she managed to hit him in the ass with the pointy end of one of her knives.

Gabriel had called Jade a traitor, but she had cattily replied "I said I would give you a head start dad, I never said how much of one."

That had Narvi and Vali howling with laughter.

The twins left their house, after giving Jade a hug and stating she was definitely one of them now.

Sigyn was too busy talking to Gabriel's new lover to notice her children were heading to Earth to spread chaos. She didn't mind Sam, but she would use her ex-lover as target practice every time she saw him.

Gabriel was wondering why Lucifer didn't try to stop her.

Lucifer gave his little brother a _Look_.

"Brother, I might love you enough to help rescue your children, but there's no way in the pit I'm getting in between a spat with your ex," deadpanned Lucifer.

Gabriel pouted.

* * *

They were almost to the Marvel Earth when it happened.

Narvi and Vali had warned them about the Bifrost. Had told them of the side effects and how to know when it was active.

And yet they were still blindsided by the damn thing.

All three groups were sent spinning out of control, but it was Gabriel's who got thrown completely off course. They ended up in Asgard of all places.

Castiel's group ended up somewhere during _Iron Man 2_, to the amusement of Jade.

Out of all three groups, only the one containing Jade and Lucifer made it to the destination agreed upon by the group.

* * *

"Ow. Remind me why we let Dean pick the destination?"

"You were outvoted," said Lucifer flatly.

"Which one did we land in?"

"Looks like we hit the mark, but the place is a bit iffy. Why is there this much sand around?"

Jade immediately grabbed a pair of Omniculars out, and cursed under her breath.

"Good news, we landed where we agreed. Bad news, it's roughly when Tony gets picked up. Still, we might as well go keep him from dying of dehydration."

It took Jade ten minutes to get to Tony, and another five for him to realize that no, the fashionably dressed young woman and her group were not a mirage. He gratefully accepted the water bottle she handed him.

"You're not really dressed for the desert," he pointed out, once the fact he wasn't going to die of thirst finally sunk in.

"Of course we're not. We landed in the wrong damn continent. If those idiots in Asgard hadn't been using their fancy space bridge we would be in Malibu, not the Afghanistan desert," said Jade flatly.

Tony stared.

"Asgard? Space Bridge?"

Jade rolled her eyes.

"Are you aware of the multiverse theory?"

"That there are countless alternates of Earth scattered around time and space? It's a load of crock," said Tony.

"Less a load of crock and more along the lines of the paperwork is a nightmare to go through just to travel between the various planets. Time travel is less headache inducing. Either way we landed wrong because we weren't expecting the Asgardians to use the Bifrost while we were so close to this particular Earth," she said.

"Okay, I'm going to need liquor and a long explanation before I accept you're not from this planet," deadpanned Tony.

"You provide the liquor to everyone but the runt, and we'll explain things in a way that won't make your brain explode from the possibilities," said Lucifer amused.

"Deal. But first we'll need to get out of the desert," said Tony. This was too entertaining _not_ to let them crash at his house. And he had a feeling that it would be worth the potential headache.

"Isn't that one of those weird helicopter things you told Crow not to get you?" said Fenrir.

Jade grimaced at the reminder.

Crowley had, one year, attempted to get her a helicopter as a joke before she made angel. Her Raziel movies would have made getting one simple.

The thing was she had no desire to get a pilot's license for something she wouldn't use that often. Besides, the FAA was a pain in the ass to deal with when she looked up what the requirements for owning a helicopter were and taking off. Dealing with the control towers in Hollywood for aircraft was simply too much a hassle.

So he compromised and got her a yacht...that she also never used except when she was between shoots. Really, she didn't see the point of big expensive toys when she rarely had the inclination to use the damn thing. Not to mention it was hard to keep the stalkers off her case when she was out in the open like that.

"Tony!"

* * *

"Ow. What the hell hit us?" asked Gabriel.

"I think we got caught in the bifrost by accident. Didn't the twins warn us about that thing?" said Sam wincing.

"Yeah, but I thought they were kidding!"

"Dad, shut up. The sun is too loud," winced Jor.

They all shut up when they heard a less-than-amused cough. Looking up, they found someone who rivaled Sam in the height department with dark skin and hawk-like eyes.

Gabriel took one look past him and grimace.

"Dad dammit... we landed on Asgard. Jade's never going to let us live this down."

"Any idea where Dean and the others landed?"

"Probably got thrown ahead of time. He was right behind the others remember?" said Gabriel finally standing up, though it was a bit shaky. He helped Sam and Jor up.

"Who are you and how did you pass through the bifrost?" asked the tall man bluntly.

"My name is Sam and this sugar-crazed idiot didn't take his son's warning about the bifrost messing with interplanetary travel seriously," said Sam equally flat.

"Well how the hell was I supposed to know that the damn thing was on roughly the same energy wavelength we use?!" said Gabriel annoyed.

"Vali and Narvi told you it would effect it before we left!" said Sam irate.

The man coughed again, a bit impatiently. He was a hair's breath between calling the guards and possibly Thor.

"Right, call me Loki, and this runt is Jor. We were _trying _to reach Midgard through an older path and somehow we ended up on the tail end of the bifrost. I'm guessing since we were in the front it grabbed us and dragged us to Asgard for whatever reason," said Gabriel.

"You are not Loki," said the man.

"Not your Loki. I'm from an alternate Earth," corrected Gabriel annoyed. He should have thought that much was obvious.

"Next time take the warning from your own damn children serious Loki!" said Sam. He could take a hint.

"And why exactly were you traveling on the old paths to here?" asked the man patiently.

"My brother demanded a vacation, and Loki mentioned it was possible to travel between Earths. It was just a pain to agree on which one," replied Sam automatically, before asking Gabriel "So can you sense Cas or Luc?"

Gabriel closed his eyes and winced.

"Whatever the hell this bifrost is made of, it's screwed up my power. It would take a week for this mess to straighten out, but knowing Jade's luck they simply missed the landing and Dean ended up in the wrong time. We were hit the worst from what I can tell," he answered.

"Great..." said Sam tiredly.

"I will inform Odin about your arrival. Stay put," said the man finally.

Gabriel and Jor winced. Odin was the reason why most of Gabriel's children were imprisoned until Lucifer killed him. Jor hid behind Sam and his father.

* * *

Gabriel was bored, Sam was exasperated, and Jor was almost near a panic-attack being in any version of Asgard with his father's power currently short-circuiting. Especially being that close to Odin.

Sam's first impression of Thor was that he was a stronger, much more annoying Dean. Loki was, well, Gabriel with a much stronger penchant for being an ass. And Odin? He reminded Sam of Lucifer for some reason. Or possibly Bobby when he was in protective-dad mode and not happy with them. It was Frigga who somewhat reminded him of either Jade or Ellen. Mostly Jade.

Jor was quite firmly hiding behind Gabriel.

"So, you somehow ended up on Asgard and claim to be Loki," said Odin finally. The alternate Loki perked up at that news.

"We were warned from his twin sons that the Bifrost can and would affect travel if we happened to be caught in it. Our group just had the phenomenal bad luck of being the closest," said Sam.

"When you say group..." started Loki.

"There were three groups. Ours was the one in front. The one in the middle we can only assume landed where we initially planned to go and right now we believe the last one landed somewhere either ahead or behind the timeline we chose," said Sam.

"Time travel is impossible," said Loki.

"For your technology maybe, but we weren't planning to travel through time just yet," said Sam shrugging.

Angels had the ability to go through time. He had accepted this as fact years ago.

"There is still the matter of the fact you claim to be Loki," said Odin.

"I never said I was the Loki from this side of the universe. If humanity has accepted that the multiverse theory is possible, if highly unlikely, then why hasn't Asgard?" countered Gabriel smugly.

"That reminds me. Lo' was it your real ability that was messed up or was it all of it?"

"Haven't tried my Trickster magic yet," mused Gabriel. With a snap of his fingers, Thor's hair turned a eye-gouging shade of bright pink. Loki looked ready to crack up. "Okay, so it's my original power that's messed up. Trickster magic seems to be working fine."

Judging by the local Loki's expression, he absolutely wanted to learn how to do that.

"Until we learn exactly how you ended up here and what your intentions are, you are not to leave the palace unescorted," said Odin finally.

"We already said how we ended up here. Loki's ability to travel between worlds somehow got mixed with the bifrost. Despite the fact his twin sons _warned_ him twice about that problem before we left. Was your Odin this unreasonable?" asked Sam.

"No. My Odin was much, much worse," deadpanned Gabriel with a tone that said everything about how he felt about that.

Jor winced.

"I'll watch them," offered Loki immediately. They were the most entertainment he had in centuries now.

* * *

"SON OF A BITCH! That hurts!" shouted Dean.

Castiel grimaced at the sound of Dean's loud voice. He knew his mate was angry at the rough landing, but it wasn't helping his migraine.

"Could you keep it down?" asked Sleipnir.

"Where are we?"

"You're currently in the middle of a race, and if you three don't get out of the way you'll get run over," said a voice blandly.

"Sis!" said Sleipnir.

Jade looked amused and helped the three off the track before the cars came back around and hit them. She then handed over some migraine potions.

"What the hell happened anyway?" asked Dean.

"Long story short, the Asgardians were using the bifrost and blindsided us. Gabriel and the others landed in Asgard, while our group landed right at the point Tony got rescued from the desert. For some reason you lot got thrown a year too far and a few countries off," said Jade blandly.

"I'm not drunk enough for you to explain the complicated crap. Make with the simple explanations," said Dean.

"Gabriel foolishly ignored the warnings the twins gave us, and therefor didn't think to check before we entered the area. The Asgardians somehow managed to snag Gabriel's group, we were sent to the desert, and you three landed a year ahead of us," explained Jade.

"And the migraine we're currently sporting?" asked Dean.

"Backlash. It will take Cas a week to return his Grace back to normal, and until then we're staying with Tony. Apparently he loves the fact I can talk rings around his annoying Board of Directors and his assistant loves the fact he can't seduce me," said Jade blandly.

Dean snorted. The only one who could outdo Jade when it came to tricking people into doing stupid shit was Gabriel or Lucifer. Sam and Crowley were close seconds.

Only an idiot tried to outperform a professional actress.

* * *

**_And that is all we'll see of Dean, Castiel and Sleipnir until the timeline catches up to the other two groups. Until that point it will mostly be Gabriel, Lucifer, Jade, Loki, Fenrir and Jormungandr. Let the chaos begin!_**

**_Also, the cover art is Raziel in full angel mode. Just to let you all know, since I'm sure most of you were curious what she looked like.  
_**


	3. Chapter 3

Pepper, despite being thrilled Tony was back, was immediately wary of Jade. It had nothing to do with their abrupt appearance and everything to do with the fact Jade was Tony's type.

Her suspicions of the woman ended the second Jade told her flatly she was happily married and the one thing she hated the most was when someone couldn't understand the concept of loyalty.

In short, there was no chance in hell Tony was every going to find a way into her pants. After that the two got along just fine.

Jade was currently looking through some legal crap that Stane had dumped on Pepper for Tony, since it was highly unlikely the man would read it. He hated being handed _anything._

"JARVIS, do you have a translator program handy for Latin? Like legal Latin, not the real language?" she asked.

There were four kinds of Latin Jade knew of.

Latin the language, pig Latin, Magical Latin, and of course Legal Latin. She was fluent in three of the four. The one she never bothered to learn being pig Latin.

"_I was unaware there were others aside from pig Latin,"_ said JARVIS

"There's real Latin, Legal Latin and Pig Latin. Legal Latin is when the language is so horribly butchered that only a lawyer can read it and they can slip all sorts of things into it without the poor sap realizing it until it's too late," said Jade automatically.

"Is that why all lawyers are evil?" asked Tony, drinking some scotch.

"It's one of the reasons. Can you read legal Latin?"

Tony took a look at the paper. He grimaced.

"A bit."

Jade wandlessly made a perfect copy and then highlighted three sections. Tony had quickly grown used to 'magic' as she called it...since Jade agreed to lend him some of the books she still had on the subject. Plus she promised to add all sorts of goodies to his recently created suits. Though she did at least remind him of the troubles of flying in the higher altitude, specifically the freezing cold air.

Tony actually looked sheepish, because he had actually forgotten about something that simple, and promptly changed the metal.

"Am I imagining this or is Stane trying to steal a good chunk of your stocks by hiding behind legal drivel?" she asked.

Tony blinked. Then he read the parts she highlighted and frowned.

"This is a perfect copy?" he asked seriously.

"Perfect doppelganger. It will disappear in thirty minutes though. My conjuration isn't that great," she replied blandly.

"Dammit...he's been trying to kick me out since I close the Weapon's R and D," said Tony running a hand through his hair.

"Let me guess. The military is on your ass about filling any leftover contracts and he wants the weapons to be better than before," she said deadpan.

"Unfortunately. But I saw what happens when my weapons are sold to the wrong people. I'm not going to let those bastards kill any more American soldiers," said Tony.

"...Do these contracts specifically state what you have to deliver?" she asked.

"I have no idea. Stane usually deals with them."

"Get me copies of the remaining ones, and I'll find the loopholes you can use to get rid of them."

Tony handed her a tablet, and JARVIS pulled up digital copies. Ten minutes later Jade snorted.

"It only says you have to deliver innovative new products to keep soldiers safe or kill terrorists more effectively. It doesn't say what you have to make. The rest was filled with the Jericho," said Jade.

"Any ideas on how to give them the slip?"

"First hold off on any public introductions of the new suit. The longer you wait before you let the people see that thing, the easier it will be to give the Military the slip. Second, is there any reason why you haven't tried developing _defensive_ technology? Like improved radar, body armor, new training equipment to prepare the soldiers?"

Tony stared at her, before he started banging his head against the counter.

"Why didn't I think of that?"

"We could always ask Luc," said Jade cheerfully.

"Ask me what?"

"How would you prepare a soldier for war without improving the quality of their weapons?"

"A good training regiment, improve on their ability to gather intel... we're talking about humans right?"

Jade nodded.

"Flight. Give them jet packs...and then find a way to make them readily available to the public. How about improved holographic displays to get rid of those bulky things they're still using? Like say a way to make a portable holographic training area?" listed Lucifer automatically.

"Improve the armor on their tanks, the humvees..." listed Jade.

Tony stared at them both.

"How about shields! Sissy's shield can take a bomb to the face without anyone getting hurt," offered Fenrir.

"A portable shield. Tony, why are you staring at us like that?"

"It's nothing. I'm just surprised that out of all the people I could have run into in a desert, it would be people who prefer to think outside the box instead of in it. It's a nice change of pace," he said finally.

Already the ideas they were pitching were giving Tony new ones to use against the military when they finally found out about the Iron Man suit.

While he would never make another weapon of mass destruction again, shields and body armor were another story. He was tired of making things that could kill people...it would be nice to make something that could save them.

"On another matter, why not make it easier for medics to save the soldiers in unfavorable conditions? Like a sterilized shield or something?" said Jade.

Tony had grabbed a tablet of his own and was writing these ideas down. A sterilized shield that medics could carry with them was one he liked. A lot.

Pepper came in during the brainstorming session, and promptly ordered food. Jade and Lucifer could go on all night and Tony would come up with a way to make it work. And with the mind of a child (Fenrir) there was literally no end to the ideas they could come up with.

* * *

"Tony! Glad to see you out and about. Pepper said that the people you let stay with you are interesting," said Rhodey.

"You have no idea. Look, are you still my contact for the military?" asked Tony flatly.

"Why?"

"Let's just say my new houseguests are a wellspring of surprises. Tell your bosses that the 'no more weapons' thing is still firmly in effect...but it was suggested I could fill the rest of the contracts in less harmful ways," said Tony cryptically.

Rhodey looked somewhat relieved...until that last part caught up to him.

"Less harmful?"

"Portable sterilized fields for the medics, better armor for the tanks and vehicles in the event of bombs, portable shields in the event of bad weather like sandstorms...that's just a sample of the things they've been pitching me. The scary thing is that most of it sounds viable," admitted Tony.

Rhodey blinked.

"You do realize that people will start to think you've lost your edge by going on the defensive," he commented.

"To which I'll point out that shields don't kill our own soldiers and that with better armor the odds of them being killed by roadside bombs start to go down," said Tony flatly. Rhodey winced. Still, most of that did sound pretty good from a soldier's standpoint.

"So what about the girl? You know, the one with the gray hair?" asked Rhodey.

Tony winced.

"It's silver, not gray. And she's married to the guy who has one of his eyes covered at all times. The kid is her little brother."

"I bet Pepper loved that."

"Jade flat out told her that one, I wasn't her type and two she looks down on people who don't understand the concept of loyalty. Apparently the idea of cheating on her husband is so far out of her mind it's not even an issue," said Tony flinching.

"She do something to you?"

"Let's just say I made the mistake of flirting with her before she had her morning dose of caffeine...and Pepper happened to record the number of put downs she shot back without hesitation," said Tony.

Rhodey grinned. He would have to hear that!

* * *

_In Asgard_...

"Gah! I'm so bored!" complained Gabriel.

Five days in, and his grace was starting to equalize. On the plus side, by tomorrow he would be able to look for Jade and Lucifer.

Another good thing was that Sam was having loads of fun. Loki was surprisingly pleasant to be around.

Though for some reason he didn't have any kids and had never married yet. And the version of Sigyn running around made him grimace.

He would rather have his pissed off bitchy ex-wife to the damn fangirl one.

Jor was sticking pretty close to his father, though he was reading the books Sam brought back. Fortunately for the lone human of the group, Gabriel had been teaching him how to read Norse ever since the vacation he took with Jade while Dean was in hell. Having a reason to actually use the language skill he picked up from Gabriel was all the incentive he needed to raid Asgard's library.

Loki spent most of his time with Gabriel, learning Trickster magic. He seemed to love the illusions said arch angel conjured, particularly the one that made Thor look like a complete idiot in the training ground.

He didn't know what a 'Barbie Girl' was, but the dance was hilarious. Gabriel would later conjure up a Barbie doll for Loki to look at, along with her male counterpart Ken. Needless to say Loki had trouble breathing once he got a look at it.

He was just glad Gabriel had ear plugs. Thor was extremely off-key.

Another good thing was that because they hadn't tried to escape or otherwise cause trouble, Odin was starting to warm up to them...even if he couldn't understand why the youngest among them was so scared of him and not Thor.

Frigga smiled.

"Actually I have talked to Odin. Seeing as how you have been...somewhat good...guests he is willing to let you leave without an escort."

Gabriel nearly cheered.

"I am curious as to why your son is so terrified of my husband though," said Frigga.

Gabriel winced.

"Are you aware of the human's take on Norse mythology? Specifically the tales of the three children of Loki?" he asked.

Frigga had an amused look on her face.

"Fenrir, Jörmungandr and Hel? As much as I would love to have grandchildren I'm afraid none of my sons have found any women that they wish to settle down with," said Frigga.

"Yeah, well the Odin on my Earth went insane a few centuries back and decided that to get back at me he would punish my children instead. Jor was one of them."

Frigga's eyes lit up with understanding.

"Jor is short for Jörmungandr isn't it? That's why he's terrified of Odin."

"Fenrir is with Jade and my older brother, while Sleipnir is with the group that we believe was sent to the wrong time," said Gabriel.

"What of Hel?"

"Trapped in purgatory, though she was the first to visit when Odin was killed off. I don't take threats against family lightly," said Gabriel flatly.

"I see. So long as we leave the children and your...friend...alone you pose no danger to us?"

"I may or may not kidnap your Loki. That guy seriously needs to lighten up, and the only time I've actually _seen_ him smile was talking to Sam and Jor," admitted Gabriel.

Frigga silently agreed on that point. This was the first time in _years_ she had seen her son actually happy to be around people. He clearly preferred being around his alternate self than his brother at this point. Some of his pranks were actually amusing instead of cruel for the first time in decades.

Perhaps Loki _could_ benefit from a change in scenery.

* * *

_A few days later..._

Gabriel woke up from his spot next to Sam with Jor snoring on top of them both.

When asked how many rooms they would need, Sam had answered they just needed one with a big enough bed. When given some awkward looks, he sheepishly admitted that both he and Jor would feel more comfortable sticking with their Loki in an unfamiliar area with people much stronger than they were.

A few had guessed that Sam and Loki were lovers, but people wisely didn't comment. If they were homophobic, then they were smart enough not to piss off someone who could prank Thor simply by snapping his fingers to do it in front of Odin. Since they couldn't _prove_ it was Gabriel (who cheerfully displayed the same shapeshifting abilities Loki himself had) they simply pretended not to notice.

Gabriel yawned as he woke up, but his lethargy went away pretty fast when he realized his grace was finally back to normal.

Having a week of not being able to use his heavenly abilities because of some weird as hell backlash was _not_ fun.

He grinned and the first thing he did was look for Jade and Lucifer.

He could sense them on Earth, but that was it. Fortunately he knew Jade also owned a cell phone, one that Crowley had enchanted to be able to reach all the way into heaven.

They had checked it as a joke. It really could get a signal from that far out.

Snapping one into existence and using his grace to power it up, Gabriel dialed her number with the ease of long practice.

Sam had already woken up by that point, and was keeping Jor from asking who his father was calling.

"_Jade's Snark Emporium, how may we rip your ego to shreds today?"_ came the voice on the other end. From the tone he could only assume she had just woken up.

"Hey Razi, where did you guys end up?"

He could hear her wake up in a hurry.

"_Dad? Are you guys alright? It took us a week before we could even use our grace...thankfully magic wasn't effected but it shook Luc up pretty bad."_

"Yeah, we're fine. We just landed in Asgard for some reason. Sam and Jor are fine. They're awake if you're interested in talking to them," said Gabriel.

Sam and Jor were quick to swipe the phone to talk to Jade and Fenrir.

They were just glad that their sister and brother were alright.

"_Anyway now that we know you're at least in the right timeline...any idea where Dean and the others landed?"_

"Probably in some other time stream. Castiel's first instinct after seeing us lose control would be to break off immediately, and considering how out of it I'm betting he might have used too much grace, magic or both. And since we both landed in the wrong spot it could mean they went ahead of us time-wise and won't know it until we run into them," said Gabriel.

"_How sure are you that they landed ahead of us in time? And how will we find them?"_

"Castiel will automatically be drawn to you. A perk to being his superior," said Gabriel.

"_So keep an eye out for Cas and the others?"_

"Pretty much. Coincidentally where are you guys?"

"_At Tony Stark's mansion in Malibu. We landed about a mile from him in the desert. In exchange for helping out with his business he's given us free reign of his house. Apparently the fact I'm not interested in sleeping with him and actually know how to speak legal Latin is a big help. We've been recently helping him out of his military contracts before they find out about his suit,"_ said Jade amused.

"I bet he loved that," said Gabriel.

"_Oh believe me, he's thrilled. We keep pitching ideas he wouldn't have considered and it's keeping the military off his ass about the fact he quit making weapons for them. Did you know he's actually got a _viable_ sterile barrier that medics can use in the field? It's still being tested but so far it's looking rather good."_

"Sounds like you're having fun," said Gabriel.

"_Be more fun if you were here. I know Fen misses you terribly,"_ said Jade.

"We'll be there soon," said Gabriel.


	4. Chapter 4

Gabriel's first act when he convinced Odin to let them head to 'Midgard' as it was collectively called by the Asgardains, was to ask Loki if he wanted to come with them.

Any idiot could see Loki didn't fit in Asgard. Hell, he openly admitted that being around Gabriel's group was the most pleasant company he had in years since he decided to take up magic rather than trying to fight like Thor.

After choosing magic over brute force, he slowly found himself subtly shunned by the warriors of Asgard, resulting in him spending more and more time in the library.

However Gabriel's appearance changed that.

Gabriel not only didn't care about Thor's group, but he openly welcomed the man into their discussions on magic and even encouraged him to learn Trickster magic. Sam would get into long discussions about magic and actual books. Loki was fascinated by the Hunter culture and the amount of things that Sam had run into.

They would be leaving in a few days. Loki agreed to call for Heimdall (who happened to be the giant Gabriel had been so snarky too when they originally landed) so that he could come home at any time. Or failing that he would use the same old paths that had landed Gabriel's group in Asgard in the first place when it was hit with the bifrost by mistake.

Loki was one of the only people on Asgard who even remembered where most of those paths went.

Gabriel's first impression of bifrost travel was...

"Dad dammit, that was way worse than that freaking portkey Jade forced us to use!" said Gabriel. It was only because he was used to obscure travel that he wasn't nauseous. Sam was good because he was used to apparition. Jor had been asleep in Sam's arms the entire time.

"It's not my fault that you failed to consider the fact that most wizards are insane morons with barely the functionality above an intelligent monkey," countered a catty voice.

Jor woke up the second he heard that, and ran to tackle the owner of the voice.

Jade braced herself and caught the boy in her arms.

"I missed you runt. Fen's in the kitchen and I made pancakes. I've officially been designated cook and the one who insures the insane genius inside actually _eats_ more than once a week," deadpanned Jade.

Pepper, when she learned Jade could cook, had asked her to keep Tony from going days without food and sleep. Jade took on the role with well practiced vengeance.

JARVIS had initially been alarmed the few times she hexed Tony into sleeping, but once he realized that aside from actually getting rest, there was no actual harm. He was, however, highly amused when Jade dragged Tony by the ear to a relatively clean table with actual _food_ and made sure he ate most of it. Two week into that treatment and Tony learned that you either ate what Jade brought or else.

Lucifer was entirely unsympathetic.

According to him, Tony was a more stubborn patient than Jade's actual older brothers Sam and Dean. They at least knew better than to try and avoid eating...and after getting a taste of Jade's homecooking they usually didn't argue when she made them a plate.

Once Tony realized that yes, Jade did know how to cook and cook well, he slowly started eating regularly. It pleased Pepper to no end learning that Tony was finally taking better care of himself and not living on a diet of alcohol and take out.

Now if only that pest Coulson would leave well enough alone.

"Hey sis," said Sam.

"I take it this is the local Loki?" she said raising an eyebrow unimpressed.

"Loki Odinson, of Asgard," he said kissing her hand.

"Finally, a Loki with some bloody manners. This sugar-crazed idiot wouldn't think to act like a gentleman unless you slapped him on the head first," said Jade.

"I resent that," said Gabriel.

"I know you do Dad, but let's face it I might as well get my shots in now before you start conspiring with the other idiot genius named Tony," said Jade flatly.

"Hey!" said Tony, mock offended.

"Tony, this is my father Loki, and the giant is Sam. The runt is Jor and this is the Loki that belongs to your side of the universe. Keep explosions to a minimum during the morning or I will be obligated to put laxatives in your coffee," she said firmly. Tony winced.

A vengeful Jade was a _bitchy_ Jade.

"Where's Luc and the dogs?"

"What dogs?" said Tony.

"Hati, Skoll! Front and center!" Jade whistled.

Tony actually _yelped_ when he finally saw Jade's pet hell hounds.

"Where did they come from?"

"Hell hounds are invisible Tony...at least until they get owners. Relax, so long as you leave them alone they'll leave you alone," said Jade amused.

"You do know Pepper hates dogs right? She sneezes whenever one comes near her."

"Tony what..." started Pepper before she froze.

Jade rolled her eyes. Then she brought Pepper over to meet Hati and Skoll. To the woman's surprise she didn't break out into hives when she touched Hati's fur.

"How..."

"These guys are hypoallergenic. Meaning you won't have to worry about fur getting all over the furniture and setting off your allergies. They also make excellent bodyguards," said Jade flatly.

"They aren't going to make a mess around here are they?"

"Pepper, I've had them for years. They know better. Besides, I've had them guarding Tony for weeks now and he's just now noticing them."

Suddenly Tony gave her an evil eye.

"You're the reason my sandwiches have been disappearing every time I leave them on the table."

"Actually I'm pretty sure that's Skoll's doing. He has a taste for poultry," said Jade entirely unashamed of her dogs habits of stealing off the table.

Plus it meant Tony would have to eat what Jade cooked, which was another reason she never bothered to correct it. At least with Jade's cooking Pepper knew that it was somewhat healthy.

Tony turned his attention to Loki and the others.

"So am I going to need a bigger house?"

"Yeah right. Sam and I will be nearby but there's no way in Helhiem I am sticking around where Jade can hit me with laxatives again. I might pop in regularly for breakfast though," said Gabriel rolling his eyes.

The only reason he lived with Jade was because she had the room. Tony, however, was an unrepentant snoop and had all the curiosity of a cat.

"Besides, didn't you mention a building in New York?" said Jade smirking.

Tony perked up.

"Not this again," said Pepper.

Loki looked up from the game of cards he had started with Fen and Jor. He had been half-paying attention to the group.

Jade had broached the idea of a tower in New York, mostly so that Tony would finally have room for the increased amount of people he was likely going to be dealing with. Tony, ever the showboat, had gone along with the idea immediately.

Pepper only protested because Tony was still recovering from the financial blow of shutting down the weapons department. The only reason his stocks hadn't dropped more than thirty points was because almost a week later he announced the new defense department geared towards armor and the like. His portable sterilized fields were already in development, but it would take more field testing before it was considered viable.

And ever since Tony found out Jade was a professional actress (and saw her work with the Raziel films) he had her being his shield from the press.

She was less than pleased with that fact, because she hated the press even more than he did. Hence the reason why, the minute Tony started his new tower in New York, she was getting an entire floor to herself with Lucifer.

"So have you figured out who's trying to shut you out of the company?" asked Jade. Her group already knew, but kept quiet.

Tony made a face.

"Obie seems to think we need to focus more on weapons than things to keep the soldiers safe. He's been trying to claim I have PTSD as a way to shut me out," said Tony, before he brightened, "He wasn't too happy when he found out that I had sold most of my shares to you."

Tony, when he found out that Jade was richer than he was, had agreed to her rather simple strategy to shut Obadiah out and still keep Tony head of Stark Industries. In order to overthrow Tony, he would have to get a majority vote from all the major stockholders _and _the board of directors.

However when he sold most of his shares to Jade, she became a major stockholder in her own right.

And unfortunately for Obie, he had no defense against Jade's no-nonsense attitude and calm personality. Jade was very, very effective at legal doublespeak...and after spending so many years with Crowley helping to insure that the magicals who made contracts never got out of them, she could outdo Stane when it came to ruthlessness.

He never stood a chance, the poor bastard.

"I still want to know how you got Agent Coulson to back off Tony," said Pepper.

"Simple. I told him something much more interesting than some idiot in a suit of armor," said Jade.

Jade was well aware Coulson had a man crush on Steve Rogers. He was a damn fanboy, but at least a tolerable one.

So after a press conference when he tried to corner her so they could find out who and what Jade's group actually were and why they were so interested in Tony Stark, Jade flat out told him that the Captain would be found very, very soon.

* * *

_Flashback..._

"Miss Night..." started Agent Coulson.

"Mrs. Night," she said annoyed, holding up her hand with the silver ring on it.

"Mrs. Night, I'm with..."

"I know who you are Phil Coulson, and I know who you work for. That one-eyed monkey can _wait_ until we find my brothers before I tell him a damn thing. But... I will tell you this much. The person you've been waiting to meet for years since his ship crashed in the ice will be found soon."

"Excuse me?" said Phil. She couldn't possibly mean... him.

"Captain America? Steve Rogers? You're going to find him soon, and if you are really that interested in knowing who we are you'll let me be the one to break it too him that he's been asleep for the better half of a century," she said flatly.

"How do you know about..."

"I know a lot of things, including the fact you're an absolute fan boy of Captain America. You even have the complete set of his trading cards for god's sake," she said amused.

Here Phil was torn. On one hand, he was naturally paranoid about the fact she knew he had the complete collection of Captain America trading cards and was a fan of Steve Rogers. On the other hand, his inner fanboy was cheering about the fact that they would find him soon, according to her.

"Patience is a virtue you should cultivate, Phil Coulson," said Jade smirking.

_End flashback..._

"That reminds me! We have a reservation for the ice rink today!" said Jade.

Gabriel perked up. Jade on ice skates was always fun to watch.

"Count me out," said Tony. He was planning to use that time modifying his sterile fields.

"Not a chance Stark. You're coming even if we have to drag you there," said Gabriel with a nodding Sam.

"Which reminds me... Sam, I got your skates once I knew you were heading this way. I brought Jor and Fen's with me," said Jade.

Jade was teaching Sam how to skate without falling on his ass. Because he was so lanky, he had trouble balancing.

He had originally taken Jade up on her offer of yoga as a joke, but Gabriel certainly wasn't complaining!

Tony sputtered.

"Why are you going to drag me to someplace that will cause me to freeze? I hate the cold!"

"Dude, Jade on skates is worth a little cold. Beside, hot tea with an even hotter girl on skates in a skimpy dress," said Gabriel.

Tony considered that for two seconds.

"Not unless you can get Pepper into it. I've seen Luke tear into Obie the one time he was dumb enough to try and flirt with her within earshot of him," said Tony shuddering.

"Yeah... tearing him a new one is the least my brother could do to anyone stupid enough to try and seduce Jade," said Gabriel.

In fact the only reason why Lucifer hadn't ripped Tony a new airhole was because he knew for a fact the man would eventually date his own assistant.

"Besides, it's either that or Jade forces you to work on her big idea...improving movies for everyone," said Sam.

"You mean that holographic movie screen that makes you feel like you're actually there, in the movie itself?" said Tony.

Jade was a professional actress. Needless to say anything that made her movies even more popular to the masses was something she would approve of.

Tony was planning on doing just that as soon as he filled the military contracts. If only because he would love to see _Heaven's War_ in such advanced theaters that people believed they were in the thick of the movie. Besides, he had seen the _Godzilla_ movie Jade had also brought with her (she had most of her better movies in her bag to keep the boys entertained...including all the Marvel movies which she kept safely hidden) and something that epic should be put on a proper stage so the audience could really enjoy it.


	5. Chapter 5

"So tell me Ms. Potts, do you like the ballet?" asked Gabriel grinning.

"I've seen a little, but I've never had the time to actually watch a performance," said Pepper.

"Well you're in for a real treat then!" said Gabriel cheerfully.

"Where are we going anyway?"

"Ice rink. Jade made a reservation and we're forcing Tony to come...which by proxy means you have to go too, unless you want to deal with Stane alone," said Luc.

Pepper shuddered at the thought.

"I can't skate."

"Neither can Sam, and the runts are just barely able to move without falling. Jade can give you pointers. If she can teach those kids to stay upright on thin strips of metal, then there's no reason she can't teach you," said Lucifer.

"Jade, the actress, knows how to skate. And what does this have to do with ballet anyway?" asked Tony.

"Before Jade became a world-famous actress and producer, she studied ballet for years. It was one of the few things her aunt would let her do without trying to sabotage or berate her. She stopped for a few years because of schooling, but when she was fed up with the bullshit she went back into ballet. Eventually she found broadway and went on stage to keep someone from mangling Shakespeare and the rest is history," said Gabriel.

Tony and Pepper stared. Gabriel helpfully brought up her website and her 'official' bio.

"Wait, there's more of those movies?"

"Three more. Jade just wanted to give you incentive to improve on the current movie theaters before she tempted you with the others," grinned Gabriel.

"Wait, if he's never seen the other three..." started Sam.

"Then he's never seen Jade dance or ice skate. Hence why we're kidnapping them."

"And what about me?" asked Loki amused.

"I guarantee you'll enjoy it. Hell, she's so good she actually has fans from above and below!" said Gabriel proudly.

"Tempting."

"Oh, and she can turn into a swan and tiger respectively."

"Sold."

"A swan, really?" said Tony.

"You'll understand why soon," said Sam.

Those who didn't know who Jade really was stared as she literally danced on the ice. If they had known that she was even more impressive while flying, they wouldn't have been that surprised at all.

"She seems to enjoy the air," said Loki.

"Natural flier. First time she tried out her wings, she literally outflew me and Lucy," said Gabriel offhandedly.

"Can't remember how many times we nearly had a heart attack from one of her aerial stunts," agreed Lucifer.

"Even Micheal couldn't catch her, and he did try!" laugh Gabriel.

Tony blinked.

"Micheal? Lucy?"

"Oh that's right. You weren't told my _full_ name. Just the one Jade and my idiot little brother insist on using," said Lucifer.

Seeing Fury and Coulson nearby, he smirked.

"Jade, do you want them to hear this now or after they find the fossil in the ice?"

Jade skated over.

"More fun to have Rogers nearby so we can see his reaction."

"Does this mean I'll finally know what his real name is?" asked Loki, looking at Gabriel specifically. There was no way Gabriel was just a simple Trickster. Loki could sense he was more powerful than Odin if he cared to be.

"Actually we might as well tell you what his original name is, if only to keep from confusing the two of you."

"Hi, I'm the arch angel Gabriel!"

Pepper choked on her tea, and Tony stared.

"An angel?" said Tony, doubt so very clear in his voice and the tone he used.

"The guy who was given the job of writing the original Bible was a complete moron," said Gabriel helpfully, "And I really don't get why those wise men handed over that crap to an infant who didn't even have any use for it, unless it was the only thing they had on hand for a present."

"And don't get us started on Samhain and the real reason for Halloween," said Jade grimacing.

"What have you got against Halloween?" asked Tony.

"Aside from the fact we had to deal with the same monsters people try to pretend don't exist? The holiday was a farce created by the parents to hide their children from a demon who could create zombies. No idea what the pumpkins were for though," said Sam rolling his eyes.

"I'm sensing another long explanation requiring copious amounts of alcohol and Jade having a night off from cooking," deadpanned Tony.

Gabriel mock gasped.

"By Jove, I think we're starting to corrupt him! Soon he shall become one of us!"

"One of us, one of us," said the kids grinning.

"Considering he's a smarter, more irritating version of Dean, this is surprising _how_?" snarked Jade.

Jade was grinning as Sam slowly made his way onto the ice. Behind him was Pepper, who had been tricked into skates by Tony. At least Pepper was remaining upright. Sam had trouble doing that much when he first started learning. Dean had pictures.

"Okay Sam, I'm leaving you with Fen and Jor. Remember to keep to the conga line," joked Jade.

Gabriel had about died laughing when he first saw Jade's idea of 'teaching' Sam how to stay upright while skating in a straight line. Fen would skate in front, providing Sam something to hold onto. Jor would hold the fort at the back, allowing him some stability.

It meant they could get Sam to yelp by doing some dangerous turns without warning, causing Gabriel to crack up all over again. Then Jade made Gabriel join behind Jor, since he had no idea how to skate either. Lucifer, for some odd reason, already knew how to skate.

Though as Jade snarkily said when the subject was brought up about how rusty he was, there was little reason for him to keep up the ability when the chances of ice water in hell were next to nill.

"Relax Pepper, you're much better than Sam was when he first tried this. And you look less ridiculous than he did at the time too."

"Dean still has pictures!" Gabriel yelled out.

Jade rolled her eyes.

"I look like an idiot," she complained.

"Well, imagine how stupid Tony will look about...now."

"Wait, what the hell do you... I am not getting out there! I hate the cold!"

"Well you're not going to hold the fort down out here," said Loki primly, having snapped Tony into skates and promptly tossed him onto the ice.

To the annoyance of Tony, Loki then proceeded to skate circles around him.

"You're an ass, you know that?"

"Of course I am. I'm Loki," he replied with a smirk.

"You think he's bad, wait till Dean and the others finally arrive," said Gabriel cackling.

Jade's first introduction to S.H.I.E.L.D._, _outside the minor chat she had with Phil just to peak their interest, was when she spotted a certain bird eye watching her every move.

Lucifer told Gabriel, who thought it would be absolutely _hilarious_ to have her sneak up behind said agent in her swan form and then proceed to scare the crap out of him.

And, proving to one and all she did have a sense of humor, Jade agreed to go along with it.

Poor Clint would never live it down that he was beaten by a swan.

_Flashback_

Jade was grinning as she spotted Clint. Loki was taking her place, keeping his attention solely on her double (S.H.I.E.L.D. was still very much unaware that there were three shapeshifters in the group, including Jade) and so Clint had no idea about the girl who stealthily went up the metal staircase to where he was observing.

One of the benefits of being a ballet dancer with access to silencing charms meant that you were generally impossible to hear. She was very, very light on her feet. Include her birth father's invisibility cloak, and Clint didn't know what hit him.

Jade barely kept herself from cackling evilly, as that would blow this whole thing.

She turned into her swan form (dislodging the cloak in the process) an walked up behind Clint.

He was half a second away from turning to see what was behind him when she started honking loudly.

Clint jumped a good half foot in the air before he stared at the silver swan that had appeared out of nowhere. His cover was definitely blown, but he wasn't about to shoot a bird. Even one as weird as this one was.

Jade started beating her wings, causing a minor gust around Clint, and he backed away because he really didn't like the evil look in her eyes.

Clint was gone and halfway down the fire escape when he heard someone laughing their ass off. He looked up and found his target cackling at the prank she had just pulled, and realized he'd been had. Big time.

To make matters worse, the security cameras had caught the entire thing and he knew that everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. who had been tasked to keep an eye on his progress would hear about this. Including Phil and Natasha.

In fact when he got back to base, the first words out of the woman's mouth were "So, did you have an interesting watch?"

Clint groaned.

_Flashback end..._

Jade was present when Stane went to steal the arc reactor from Tony's chest. He really wasn't expecting the punch to the face from her, or the fact that she was unaffected by the device in his hand.

To be fair, she had been taking a nap with noise canceling headphones on and the only reason she woke up was because she felt the thump of Tony hitting the floor.

"You alright Tony?" she asked, having knocked Stane out.

Tony winced, because he still couldn't move. Jade put a hand on his shoulder and freed his motor control.

"Thanks. I can't believe Obie was the one who tried to have me killed," said Tony wincing. His movement was still shot to hell, but at least he _could_ move.

"And it looks like we finally have a reason to talk to that one-eyed spook," said Jade, eying the soon-to-be disposed Stane with irritation.

Jade deposited Obadiah Stane at the nearest S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters and was even nice enough to give the Black Widow a decent amount of veritaserum to play with.

Out of all the Avengers, her two favorites would always be the Widow and the Hawk. Clint was hilarious and Natasha was just awesome.

Gabriel and Dean were fans of Tony, Sam loved Bruce Banner and Steve Rogers, and Lucifer? He felt sorry for Phil.

Not enough to help him, but enough to not give the man too hard a time.

Natasha was surprised at how easy it was to hit it off with the mysterious Jade...and actually thanked her for pranking Clint. It was the most amusing piece of blackmail on the man she had had in years.

Jade however was very surprised when Fury called her to ask if she could help a certain 'Capsicle' (as Tony would call him often) when he woke up. Better to have someone as blunt as Jade break the news about how long he had been away than a random agent.

Jade took the doctor's uniform, charmed her hair a bright cherry red and put her long locks into a neat, professional bun, with a few strands highlighting her face. Then she took out her contacts and put on her glasses. To be fair, the contacts were getting on her nerves anyway.

Next she reviewed everything she knew about medicine...which was unsurprisingly a lot considering how much time she spent in hospitals until she left England.

Finally she waited until he started to show signs of waking up.

She opened the door, and grimaced at the sound of someone doing a play-by-play of a baseball game. Not on her watch! A little magic and the channel abruptly shifted to something more tasteful.

Specifically Mozart.

She casually picked up the chart which was completely fake. Steve was definitely waking up.

"Awake are we?"

He quit trying to fake being asleep.

"Where am I?" he asked suspiciously.

"New York. Though probably not the one you remember," said Jade getting to the punch.

Steve looked at her, wariness in his eyes.

She looked him dead in the eye and said "You've been asleep, Captain Rogers, for the better half of a century. If it wasn't for the serum you would have died from hypothermia the moment you hit the ice cold waters. We recently found the crash site and brought you back home, though quite a few things have changed since your time."

Steve looked surprised.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Mrs. Night. I was brought in to break the news you've been gone for over seventy years gently, but frankly I think you're old enough to handle the truth without having a nervous breakdown. They wouldn't have just anyone go after HYDRA, let alone become the only successful test subject of Dr. Erskin's infamous serum," she said flatly.

"Not a doctor?" he said, nodding to her coat.

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm a professional actress. They thought I would play along with their little farce, and it's not like I haven't been in hospitals often enough to know procedure. Just to warn you, one of the people who found you happens to be a dedicated fan of yours."

Seeing his blink, she smirked.

"I thought it would be fair to warn you about your fanboy before you ran into him. He has the entire collection of the cards printed from your time as a dancing monkey," she said grinning. Steve winced.


	6. Chapter 6

"Well? What's the Cap like?" asked Tony.

"Total boyscout. Kept calling me ma'am," said Jade rolling her eyes.

Fury was pissed as hell she didn't break the news to him gently, but had to admit her tactics still worked anyway. Steve had taken the news better than the man could have predicted and had thanked Jade for her blunt honesty.

Of course that was nothing compared to what they were going to spring on Fury, Phil, Steve and Tony next week.

* * *

"So are you finally going to tell us who exactly you people are?"

"Is this being recorded?" asked Jade of Tony.

"You said something about an amusing reaction, so I'm having JARVIS record it," said Tony grinning. Jade's way of surprising people was always funny...if you weren't on the receiving end. Besides, he wanted to know what could possibly shock Fury, Phil and the 'boyscout' as she called him.

"Okay, first off what we're about to tell you is not a hallucination, lie or a prank. We're not from this particular section of the multiverse," said Jade.

"Multiverse?" said Steve.

"There are countless Earths, most of which follow a set pattern. On ours, there is a society of magically inclined humans, people who hunt things like vampires and werewolves for a living...and of course angels and demons."

Steve perked up when he heard the word angels.

"Heaven exists?"

"Heaven exists, but it's not some fluffy gold lined place like you think. It's more of a whole bunch of heavens all put in the same area. Like say your heaven was a place you spent a lot of time in as a kid, or your favorite memories. And then there's the angels. Screw fluffy halos and white outfits, think more along the lines of knights and massive wingspans," said Gabriel.

"Like the crusades, only at least these idiots aren't in it for the money or base desires," snorted Jade.

"Oi, give us some credit!" said Gabriel offended.

He did not like to be compared to the Crusades, thank you very much. He had smote more than one of those disgusting people who claimed they were doing it in the name of God, but were only in it for the gold. A good chunk of those who gave into their baser desires got collared, and they ended up in hell after they died. That had been an unwelcome surprise for them.

Steve looked like someone had slapped him with a fish. Fury and Phil were highly skeptical, but for Tony he seemed to be taking this in stride. It helped that Jade had already proven she had magic. Angels weren't that far a stretch.

"I'll believe you three are angels when I see some proof," said Fury flatly.

At the same time, Lucifer and Gabriel flared their heavenly wings. Jade snorted and stood up. Behind her feathers flew all over the place revealed six massive silver wings with odd decorations.

Steve's jaw dropped comically.

Tony recovered first.

"How come they have shadows and you sent feathers all over the place?"

"These two are heavenly angels. I'm an earthborn, a human who ascended from a mortal vessel but didn't go to heaven immediately. Because I didn't draw on Grace like these two do when I ascended, I had to learn how draw on an alternate energy source. As a result my angel form is bearable for normal people like you to see without any ill effects. Seeing these two in their real form would burn your eyes out, and hearing their true voice would drive you irreparably insane."

"Why didn't you go to heaven?" asked Steve.

"Because angels terrify me. They still do, but I've learned to tolerate them in small doses so long as one of those I can stand being near are around me," shuddered Raziel.

"An angel terrified of other angels?" scoffed Fury.

"Well you wouldn't be fond of angels either if your life was literally ruined by a seraph with a fake prophecy, and then the bastard had the gall to throw you out of heaven before he decides to hound you because you refuse to do his job for him. Her first act as a new arch angel was to kill the angel who nearly ruined her life," said Gabriel glaring at the one-eyed man. Fury shut up.

"So if she's a human turned angel, and you're the one who brought word of God's only son, which one is he?" asked Phil.

Lucifer grinned evilly. This was always funny seeing people's reactions to his real name.

"Oh, you know who I am. It's just funnier to see people's reactions when they find out Luc is just part of it," said Lucifer.

Jade lightly slapped her husband's head.

"Luc, get on with it. I want to see the boy scout's reaction already!"

"Come on Lucy, get on with the introductions!" cackled Gabriel evilly.

"Fine. Spoil my fun. You know my name, but the part about my argument with Micheal was highly exaggerated and they got parts of it wrong. I am Lucifer."

Steve nearly had a heart attack.

"Lucifer, as in _Satan_?"

"You know this explains so much. Except why you married another angel. Isn't that like incest or something?" said Tony. To be fair, he had seen _Heaven's War_ already, so he knew that the story behind the fight between Lucifer and Micheal wasn't nearly as cut and dried as people believed.

"Different kind of angel. Besides, both Gabriel and Castiel happen to be dating a pair of brothers. Not the same one though. Should have seen the reactions to people when I made it known that two angels happened to be gay," snorted Jade.

"Who is Castiel?" asked Tony.

"One of the trio who got thrown out of time when we entered this section of the multiverse. According to Gabriel they should be popping up fairly soon. Castiel will be drawn to my grace since I'm his superior. Though considering how badly we were affected by being thrown off course they'll all have headaches and Cas won't be able to do anything more than turn into his cat form for a week," said Jade.

Then she had an idea. With a snap of her hands, she popped two DVDs into the room.

"What are those?"

"Our source of information about this side of the universe. We won't give you the rest until the events are almost done, but it's safe to give you these," said Jade pleasantly.

Steve was staring at the one featuring the title called _Captain America: The First Avenger._ Tony, however, was grinning at the sight of _Iron Man_.

"I think it's safe to give them a few others," said Gabriel.

"Good point," said Jade, snapping her copies of _X-Men_ and _The Hulk_.

Fury stared.

"How did you do that?"

"He taught me. Gabriel used to go by Loki for a long time when he left Heaven. In any case, if we don't hurry back, Tony might not have a house left," said Jade, hearing Sam's request that they hurry up.

"Why?"

"Because Loki and Rhodey have joined forces against Fenrir and Jörmungandr, and they're throwing ideas on each other that usually ends up in us having to rebuild parts of my house," said Jade flatly.

Gabriel winced.

"Remember when they tried to cook breakfast in bed for you and 'Uncle Luc' and ended up blowing up the porch?"

"Using a cauldron and listening to Dean when it came to matters of cooking...what were they expecting to happen?" said Jade shaking her head.

Dean never again attempted to cook anywhere near Jade's kitchen after that. She would bite his head off if he even looked at her precious kitchen wrong. Sam hadn't felt a single iota of pity for his brother for having to pick up the worst of the mess he had made with the kids...who were promptly grounded from their favorite past times by Gabriel for not having a 'responsible adult' help them. Dean had been offended. Jade had thrown something appropriately heavy and sharp at his head until he went back to work.

Dean immediately started a prank war on Gabriel for the comment once the porch was rebuilt. That was two months before they came to this section of the universe.

Tony gave the two of them a look.

"How bad are we talking about?"

"As bad as you getting drunk and then getting into the suit. And yes they already know about it but because we've been keeping appearances to a minimal they can't exactly confirm it's yours," deadpanned Jade.

Stopping Stane before he could activate his was another factor. Tony never had to do the press conference...not that they hadn't planned for that one. Luc was the one stuck in the suit if it had come to that.

* * *

"Okay, I give up. What did you do to the house?" asked Tony.

They had returned to find a warzone, kids against adults. Loki and Rhodey (who were the adult team) had been amused but Pepper sure as hell wasn't.

Sam was considered judge and neutral party.

"It doesn't matter what they did. It matters that they're all grounded from movie night for the week," said Jade twitching.

A few of the pranks had hit the kitchen, hence her annoyance with them all.

"Even me?" asked an amused Sam.

"Especially you," she deadpanned, "Only way I'll reconsider it is if the others show up soon."

"So...who wants to be at the opening of the Stark Expo next week?" asked Tony. Jade gave him a betrayed look.

"Me!" came the voices of both the kids. It sounded exciting.

Jade sighed.

"Alright. How about this. You lot clean this mess up and I'll pop in a Marvel movie?" she said. She had just the one too.

The boys cheered, and even Loki pitched in.

Tony made a face when he saw what she had picked out.

"Can't we put in that other movie you gave Fury?"

"Sit through this and I _may_ put the one featuring Iron Man in next," said Jade. Tony cheered. He wanted to see that!

Tony looked at Jade incredulous.

"Is this how you knew about me?"

"Actually this is why we agreed to join you. Aside from the fact you need an adult babysitter (she paused for Pepper and Rhodey to snort in absolute agreement) we knew was going to happen. There's a second and third one, but the third sucked."

"You know that anti-grav stuff might be possible. I mean with his arc reactor..." said Rhodey. He loved the _Captain America_ movie more than the _Iron Man_.

"Wait, you have more?" said Pepper. It was shocking enough to see herself in a movie.

"Like I told Fury, I'm not handing those over until the events are almost over. It's like being able to see the future. Sure you know what's going to happen, but if you see something bad and try to change it, who's to say it will?"

"Take it from Jade. She's the current Prophet and all she did with the power was use it to make movies."

"What's a Prophet?" asked Tony.

"Basically she gets visions from God. Visions of the future or the past, depending on how hard she concentrates. Thing is Jade doesn't bother with that nonsense unless she has to, or she wants to finish a movie," said Lucifer.

"Trying to alter the future is a pain in the ass, and it's quite pointless. All I get are visions of the most likely scenario. If I was that obsessed with it I would be watching it twenty-four seven just to stay updated," said Jade flatly.

"Which is why she only lets us watch the other movies," said Fenrir.

"So how are you going to get to the Expo?" asked Jade.

"I was thinking, since we already filled the military contracts and made damn sure that the new ones are _only_ for defensive weaponry and armor," said Tony nodded to Jade who smiled, "That I could go as Iron Man. Maybe a prototype or something."

Rhodey looked a bit irritated at Tony.

Jade looked amused.

"I could write up an agreement that you could make _one_ Iron Man suit, or something similar enough to get the military off your back only to soldiers that have undergone extensive background checks...or you could loan them out to Fury's group on the agreement that only people you can trust with it will wear the suit. Put in a lock-out mechanism in it or something," offered Jade.

Tony looked at Jade.

"Could you put some magical lock-out device so that only people I pick can wear a specific suit?" he asked seriously.

"Tailor it to them and them alone. All I would need would be to put a magical tag on them and it would identify it to the suit. That way only one person could wear it. And...I can make it so that if the suit starts targeting civilians it would deactivate the tag, resulting in the suit becoming inactive."

Tony looked at Rhodey.

"So if I were to say...create a suit with Rhodey in mind..."

"Then I would make it so that the suit only worked for him and him alone."

"Prove that this tag system works and I'll consider it," said Tony.

"Give me five minutes."

Tony was convinced after ten. Not only would the system completely shut down when Rhodey tried to use it without Tony's signature, it also captured the thief and sent the picture to Jade's computer for later identification. It even brought up a GPS coordinate of where he was thanks to JARVIS.

He didn't want his suit in the hands of the military. Especially with how paranoid people were becoming since nuclear armaments were first created. But he could live with a few suits out of his hands and in those of people he knew he could trust.

Best part? The military couldn't reverse engineer it because if they tried, Jade's magical virus would wipe their hard drives of anything that was in development. She would leave their intel alone, but their tech would be screwed.


	7. Chapter 7

"Remind me again why I agreed to join him when he finally revealed that damn suit?"

Jade had written up a patent so full of legal jargon and red tape that it would take years, several legal teams and an endless supply of industrial strength coffee to get through it. All so Tony could unveil his suit without having to deal with the military trying to steal it from him.

Sure he was making one for Rhodey as a test run for the magically-locked versions, but the last thing he wanted was to deal with the government demanding more.

Even Tony had been impressed by how easily Jade stonewalled people using paperwork. And she hated dealing with it to boot!

"Because it's either this or rerun night with the movies. Besides, he said he'd take us to Monaco after," said Lucifer.

"Ah yes, now I remember. I was promised a private room in a nice Spanish hotel with the best view and the guarantee he would leave us alone for a few days."

"Plus we get to borrow his jet on the way back," purred Lucifer.

Jade smirked. Borrowing that was the least Tony could do after she just kept his suit out of the hands of idiot politicians.

She heard the music blare as Tony made his grand entrance onstage. The kids were cheering him on, mostly because they were hyped up on sugar. They truly were Gabriel's sons...it had taken enough candy to put a kid in a diabetic coma before they were hyper enough to bounce off the walls...literally. Jade put cushion charms and one to keep them off breakable things and they started bouncing everywhere...with Tony joining them.

Jade enjoyed the shock most people had when Tony came out of the suit.

Tony had told the people Iron Man, the nickname given to the mystery person taking out large weapons caches in the hands of terrorists for months now, would be at the exhibition and they would finally find out who piloted it. And because Jade had literally made him untouchable when it came to the suit, he could piss off Fury and Congress all at once.

He had promised pictures of pissed off politicians.

Tony made peace signs to the surprised crowd, and Jade was amused enough.

Unfortunately her night off was going to turn into a headache tomorrow.

* * *

"What the hell do you mean a Congressional hearing?" said Jade irate.

"I mean they just dumped a summons on me after I left the stage, and I need someone who can doubletalk better than those old idiots," said Tony.

Jade looked at him.

"You do realize I'm an actress, not a lawyer right?"

"I've read many legal documents, and you're better at that sort of thing than I am. Besides, didn't you enjoy screwing over the government the first time?"

"You still owe me a room in Monaco," she warned him.

"You can put the room service on my card," promised Tony.

"Fine. I'll get dressed and prepped to destroy the idiots who are demanding you make them suits," said Jade.

Tony would have felt pity for the senators in that hearing, but honestly he knew it would be hilarious to watch. Jade was as ruthless as a shark!

When the senator saw the ebony-haired woman enter with Stark, he had a bad feeling drop in his stomach.

"Who exactly is this Mr. Stark?"

"Well considering you lot are the biggest bunch of liars on Capital Hill, I figured I'd bring in a better actor than you. How else could you explain how you got elected?" he said with a straight face.

Rhodey, who had been called in as witness, barely managed to keep his snickering from being seen. He had seen Jade in bitch-mode, and she was definitely irritated with the politicians at the moment. The fact she could speak 'Legal Latin' as she called it better than Tony could meant he wanted her to rip them a new one.

Tony would just supply his evidence against them.

The senators started off all bluff and buster, but when Jade stood up to make her case, they shut up with a single look. When she spoke, she had a no-nonsense tone that commanded attention. Even the reporters were watching her with a rapt gaze.

More than one corrupt politician flinched when Jade got into her stride. She was ruthless, and as friendly as a shark with blood in the water. Tony gleefully supplied video, documents large enough for the reporters to get it on film, and the most damning evidence against the senators... the patent application Jade had finished and filed the day before.

The senator took one look at the clear red tape and legal jargon they would have to jump through just to force Tony to hand over the Iron Man suit and shuddered. His career on Capital Hill would be long over by the time he got through even _half_ of that!

Jade had a predatory smile. It made her beautiful and entirely too dangerous to cross. Tony took one look at it and was very, very glad she had set their boundaries the second he knew she was already taken. Innocent flirting was acceptable. Everything else was not. He didn't want his head bitten off by a pissed off Jade.

Rhodey laughed once he was well out of eye-shot of the cameras. If he had known Tony would drag Jade into that media circus he would have brought a camera of his own.

* * *

Jade was on the track, having sensed a build up of Grace coming from a section close to where the pit was. Tony had managed to convince Lucifer to drive the car. Luc mostly did it to shut the man up.

There was a loud crack not unlike a loud peal of thunder. There on the track about to be run over, was Castiel and his group. Dean was the first to speak.

"SON OF A BITCH! That hurts!" shouted Dean.

Castiel looked like he was in pain and Sleipnir wasn't much better.

"Could you keep it down?" asked Sleipnir.

"Where are we?"

"You're currently in the middle of a race, and if you three don't get out of the way you'll get run over," said Jade blandly.

"Sis!" said Sleipnir.

Jade opened up the door and let them in. Once they were in chairs she handed them migraine relief potions. She had to take them when they first crashed nearly two years ago.

"What the hell happened anyway?" asked Dean.

"Long story short, the Asgardians were using the bifrost and blindsided us. Gabriel and the others landed in Asgard, while our group landed right at the point Tony got rescued from the desert. For some reason you lot got thrown a year too far and a few countries off," said Jade blandly.

"I'm not drunk enough for you to explain the complicated crap. Make with the simple explanations," said Dean.

"Gabriel foolishly ignored the warnings the twins gave us, and therefor didn't think to check before we entered the area. The Asgardians somehow managed to snag Gabriel's group, we were sent to the desert, and you three landed a year ahead of us," explained Jade.

"And the migraine we're currently sporting?" asked Dean.

"Backlash. It will take Cas a week to return his Grace back to normal, and until then we're staying with Tony. Apparently he loves the fact I can talk rings around his annoying Board of Directors and his assistant loves the fact he can't seduce me," said Jade blandly.

Dean snorted in amusement.

"Of course we have recordings of me tearing a bunch of politicians a new asshole because Tony woke me up too early from yesterday."

"Where's Luc?" asked Dean, downing a water bottle.

"Out on the track. He's driving Tony's car just to shut him up. If you can handle it I can get you three something to eat and a room to sleep off the backlash. Sleipnir, you're with Jor and Fen. They got a king-sized bed all to themselves along with the two hounds," said Jade.

There was a sudden crash on the track as a man with a set of powered whips began to lay waste to the cars. Jade had almost forgotten about the Russian with a bird fetish.

"Excuse me while I keep Lucifer from having to deal with an idiot."

Jade manifested her wings and went after the Russian. Many people gasped at the sight of an angel on the track. It took her very little time to grab his whips and short circuit the power source. It also gave Castiel and Dean time to slip off the track to where Gabriel and Sam were waiting.

* * *

"Tony, meet my older brother Dean, my minion/pet cat Castiel, and Sleipnir. They're the last part of the group that got lost," said Jade the next morning.

"Yo. Do you have any idea the havoc you left behind? People are calling you the Silver Angel," said Tony amused.

"Time to start leaking the Raziel movies then. What better way to get that name changed?" said Jade.

"Wait, if you haven't been leaking those, then how did you afford such an expensive room?" asked Dean.

"One, he paid for it, and two, I spent years with Crowley learning the ins and outs of demon contracts out of boredom. I'm Tony's favorite lawyer," said Jade bluntly.

She had gone back in time to make that phony ID for the group, became a legal barrister in England, and then came back. Boring but it was fun to tear people a new one.

She briefly considered doing the same back home, if only to kill time. Then she realized she didn't need to.

If she ever got that bored she could just sick Crowley on people. He was a 'lawyer' by human standards and he would enjoy it more than she would.

Dean snorted.

"I bet Crow will be so proud of his baby shark."

Tony snickered.

"Shark is right. Should have seen those greedy senator's faces when she was through with them. Like they came face to face with Jaws!"

"Wasn't Rhodey hiding the fact he was silently laughing the entire time in his seat?" asked Jade. That set Tony off with a fresh peal of laughter. So he hadn't been the only one to see that!

"So these three are the ones you were waiting for?"

"Dean, Castiel and Sleipnir. They got thrown the farthest of all of our groups, probably because Castiel broke off at the last second," said Jade. She then looked specifically at Castiel. "Cas, wait a week before you try your Grace. That was how long it took me, Luc and Gabe to be able to use ours. Magic, however, seems to be fine for some reason."

"So, any idea who our mystery Russian is?" asked Tony.

"Ivan Vanko. His father worked with yours on the original arc reactor. He's just pissed you managed to make it work, and he wants payback," said Jade.

"And you know this how?" asked Tony. She wordlessly held up _Iron Man 2_.

"Ah. Shutting up now, though I want to watch that soon," said Tony.

"Word to the wise, do not piss off Jade or try to get in a battle of wits against her. This is a girl who thinks reading boring Shakespeare or the actual _Lord of the Rings_ is FUN," said Dean.

"Dean, if you don't shut up I'll start reciting the original _War and Peace_ in the original Russian. And you know I've read it just to make people like you suffer," said Jade sweetly.

"See what I mean?" said Dean.

"I wish she wasn't already married," said Tony.

Jade snorted.

"Tony, even if I weren't married I would never consider even dating you. If there's one thing I hate it's spotlight, and you're the biggest ham I've seen in years," said Jade flatly.

"Got that right. She can barely stand her own fans, let alone the media. She goes around with a charm to keep people from recognizing her on the street!" said Gabriel amused.

"She got mobbed at a book signing, and she only got away because she told them that Raziel was getting a love interest. Even then the fans were reluctant to let her go!" chuckled Dean. He remembered that incident fondly. Then he looked at Tony.

"Which is better, the new model cars with the computers or the classics?"

"Classics," said Tony immediately.

"AC/DC or Justin Bieber?"

"Don't insult me, AC/DC is by far superior to that trash," said Tony with a sniff.

Dean grinned.

"I like this guy."

Tony grinned back.

"So what model car do you have back home?"

"Who said we left it at home? Dean would never consider traveling anywhere without his precious baby," said Jade amused.

She reached into her bag to pull out what appeared to be a replica of a 1967 black Impala in pristine condition. Dean practically cuddled with it.

"Why am I expecting a Gollum moment here? I'm halfway expecting him to start calling it his precious..." said Tony.

"Sounds about right," snorted Sam.

"Dean's precious car. He damn near kills anyone that damages his precious baby. The two of you can debate classic cars later when we get home. Right now Luc and I are going to take advantage of that room," said Jade cheerfully.

"Hard to believe she never had a boyfriend before he came along. Though I do have some pictures of Sammy in a rabbit's outfit from when she conned him into going to this Alice in Wonderland themed restaurant in Japan," said Dean cheerfully.

"A moose dressed as a rabbit?" said Tony, perking up.

Sam winced. He could see where this was heading and he wanted no part of it.


	8. Chapter 8

Jade took one look at Natasha Romanov and barely hid her smirk. After the two day vacation in Spain (which they had desperately needed) Jade and Lucifer had returned to find the super spy acting as Pepper's assistant.

Natasha nearly broke out into a sweat when Jade asked her if she would be interesting in joining her group for some basic yoga exercises.

Most of her small family did yoga in the mornings, mostly to work out the kinks (or in the case of Sam limber up after a night with his enthusiastic boyfriend) and the rest watched.

Tony of course jumped at the chance to watch Pepper do the basic stretches, and looked somewhat surprised that Natasha was able to keep up with Jade.

"Impressive. Have you done ballet before?" asked Jade. She knew Natasha's history, but she might as well pretend she didn't. It wouldn't do to put someone who specialized in poisons on guard against her tricks.

"When I was younger I performed some Russian ballet," said Natasha smoothly.

"Finally, someone who could keep up with me! Did you know these idiots had no idea what a ballet studio looked like until they met me?" said Jade with genuine pleasure.

Natasha cast an eye on an amused Dean, Gabriel and Lucifer.

"I can believe it. They don't look the type to observe their surroundings unless it was kink-related," said Natasha.

Jade grinned openly, because she had hit that nail on the head.

"Care to join me in the more advanced exercises?"

Natasha showed genuine amusement at the idea. It had been a long time since she had a chance to do any dancing other than the ballroom ones.

Gabriel made sure to videotape Natasha and Jade dancing to some Russian song he didn't bother to remember the name of. He was sure Natasha's partner Clint would enjoy the show. The two of them danced in perfect sync, or to be more accurate Natasha simply followed Jade's lead through the dance.

"Wow. I thought she was just a model?" said Tony.

"Actually you should be glad Jade magic-locked all your files. Considering how dead set people are to get that suit of yours..." said Gabriel. Tony blinked before he ran that through his head.

"Ah. So she's..."

"Yup. Jade magic-locked all your files so only you can access any of them without getting shocked. Anything that isn't verified by you gets wasted," said Gabriel cheerfully, making sure the camera hid his mouth from the super spy. Who knew if she could read lips?

"And you haven't gotten rid of her why?"

"One, if we have to deal with a spy evaluating you, then at least it's someone who doubles as eye candy. Two, Jade has been wanting to meet Natasha for a while now since they both enjoy ballet. Three, it means we get to screw with Fury without having to leave your house. Take your pick," said Gabriel.

Tony ran that through his head and grinned. This out to be fun.

* * *

Natasha knew something was wrong when she spotted Jade watching her.

"You do realize we knew who you were from the start, right?"

The spy winced. Being caught while trying to steal information was a sure-fire way to get killed.

"However, the fact that my group knew who you were also means that you're relatively safe from pranks. Gabriel is particularly worried you might slip some form of poison in his boyfriend's food that will give him diarrhea if they annoyed you."

"I don't carry poisons when I'm infiltrating someone's house," said Natasha.

"You do realize that if you cozy up to Gabriel or Dean, that they'll give you some ideas of how to prank your partner, the one who nearly shit himself coming that close to an enraged swan, right?" she asked amused.

Natasha couldn't help her snort of amusement. Clint would deny it to his deathbed, but she had noticed he changed his pants before returning to base.

"I'm surprised you haven't told Stark yet."

"Oh, we already did. Tony's more interested in watching you try to hack his files after I locked them with the same thing I used on his suits."

"Are you the reason he hasn't been hitting on me?"

It wasn't like she cared, but it was a nice relief.

"Actually we've been subtly trying to get his head out of his ass towards his assistant. He either needs to date her and see if it would work out, or give her a damn raise for all the crap he's given her over the years."

Before Jade left the room, she did add one last parting shot.

"You're still welcome to join us in our yoga exercises and my advanced ballet stretches in the morning."

* * *

Tony was grinning.

"Whatcha up to?" asked Gabriel.

"Check it out."

Tony hit a button, starting the sequence. Gabriel's grin widened when he realized what it was.

"You actually finished it? Jade's going to be thrilled."

"This alone will get my stocks back up," said Tony grinning.

Tony had built a 3-D projector that was specifically designed so it could be used with standard audio-visual plugs DVD players had. It would project the movie without a screen, and Tony had added a little touch-screen trick so when people used it to listen to music they could interact with it.

It was mostly a little ball and light show, but it was still above and beyond anything on the market.

"Trust me, after seeing one of her movies I had to build something like this to make it even better. And this is just the finished product...the prototype just needs to be tweaked before I can start making my own movie theaters," said Tony.

This alone would get his board of directors off his ass.

"Well get to tweaking! Odds are Jade will give you a cut of the Secret Angel series once they go back into production!"

Once again, the Secret Angel series was a complete hit. The second people realized what it was about, and the fact it painted a picture of heaven people had no difficulty relating to, quite a few flocked to it. It didn't condemn god, or the angels themselves... but it did make them sound more human.

"You know I wonder how Fury would react if he knew you're a major movie star?" asked Tony enjoying the fact Jade was so popular she couldn't even walk into a coffee shop without being swarmed.

Quite a few people recognized her from the public trial of Tony when she bit the heads off the senators.

Though the paparazzi did have a field day when, after the kids got a little too enthusiastic with the paint, Gabriel turned her hair every color of the rainbow. Since it was silver, the color stuck for a full month.

"Between the new movie projectors and the series, I've more than made up for what I lost when I closed down the weapons division," said Tony grinning.

The irony was a known atheist like Tony loved the series, despite it's obviously religious themes.

Natasha walked up, looking extremely amused.

"What?" asked Jade.

"Clint wants your autograph. Partially as a way to make up for the swan incident, but also because he's a major fan of the guy who played Gabriel," said Natasha.

"Oh man. He does know Gabriel played himself, right?"

"He's vaguely aware, but until he sees the wings he' still a skeptic," said Natasha.

"Wonder how he would react if he knew Jade could outshoot him with a bow?" asked Gabriel snickering.

Crowley had insisted Jade learn how to use a weapon after the collar was initially put on, so she went old school. A bow and arrow.

It quickly became apparent that Jade was supernaturally good at aiming a ranged weapon. It didn't matter if it was a bow, a gun, or even a sniper rifle...if it required precision aim at a long range, she could hit a target at a hundred meters or more. It was beyond freaky...especially considering she used to wear contacts before she ascended and healed her eyes.

Then she went a step further and started shooting while blindfolded using nothing but hearing. Nine times out of ten, she was able to hit the target. The one being when someone pisses her off enough to aim at a voice rather than the target...as Gabriel had been shocked to find out.

He shouldn't have made that smart ass comment about her weight.

Clint was good, but they had doubts that he could beat Jade.

"Odds are he'll take that challenge just to remain the best archer in the world. He does a lot of trick shots you know," said Natasha.

"He's welcome to try. If he succeeds I'll give him the next movie before it's released," said Jade with a smug grin.

Natasha blinked.

"How can you release the next movie when it's scheduled to come out in a year and a half?"

"Because the movies are already made...we just had to transfer them to a media format that Tony could use on his new projectors."

Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"What would it take for you to loan him the others?"

"For the second one he has to beat me at an archery contest. The others he'd have to impress me with his creativity concerning pranks. Particularly if it's against Fury or Coulson," said Jade immediately. Gabriel, when he heard the terms, started cracking up.

So did Tony.

"Let me get back to you on that," said Natasha. Two hours later she came back with a date and place for them to have their little game.

It was partly to see if she was any good as a fighter, not just as an actor.

* * *

"I'm bored," said Loki.

Now under normal circumstances the group could ignore this. After all, boredom could be fixed easily. However this was a version of _Loki_ they were talking about. The god of Mischief and causing chaos for the hell of it.

And considering they were used to diverting Gabriel's boredom lest he become a walking force of mayhem and pranks, this was bad.

"Right. I think it's past time to introduce you to something called Broadway," said Jade.

"What's broadway?" asked Loki curious.

Jade smiled mysteriously.

One musical and Loki was hooked. And then Jade went a step further and got him into cooking classes, among other things.

"Okay, how come you were able to divert his attention and not Gabe's?" asked Sam baffled. He thought it would be harder for them to keep Loki occupied.

"Gabriel is used to humanity and the diversions out there. Odds are he went through them all at least once as soon as they came out. However this Loki is so used to being an intellectual among brawlers that he's never had much to challenge him. All we had to do was give him something to do and let him loose among the various diversions of humanity, and he'll take care of the boredom himself," said Jade.

"Pretty much," said Gabriel.

"That being said, we are so getting Tony to work on gaming devices next, because otherwise you'll drive us all crazy," said Jade.

"Tetris in 3-D...talk about addicting," snorted Sam.

Tony perked up. There was an idea he hadn't considered...bringing the video game world to an entirely new level. With how much people spent on games, it was likely he could make up for his entire weapons division just with that alone.

Within a week he was already trying new ways to use standard game consoles and bring them to life.

And that was before he enlisted the aid of the kids...including Dean and Gabriel, who were practically kids in adult bodies.

Jade took the brothers out for a two-day vacation to a popular theme park while Loki kept Tony entertained with new ideas.

* * *

Pepper woke up most of the house when, a few days after the rest of the group came back, she walked in to find three kids, two small house cats and one massive silver tiger laying in the sun snoring.

One look at the large cat and she freaked out.

"What in His name is that racket?" yelled Lucifer. Tony was looking for the source as well.

"There's a tiger in the house!" shrieked Pepper.

"Oh, that. Can I go back to sleep now?" asked Tony.

Pepper hadn't been in the house when Jade demonstrated her animagus form, or when the others turned her into one big furry pillow. Jade had fallen asleep as a tiger, and the kids hadn't hesitated to curl up next to her.

Tony had been very amused when Dean and Castiel turned into a pair of cats that snuggled up to each other on top of Jade's back. It was decidedly cute.

So when she arrived the next morning to see Jade sleeping in her tiger form, it was only natural she would freak out.

Lucifer calmly walked up to the tiger, and Pepper honestly feared it would attack him. He started poking at it's side, and it yawned.

"Jade, love, it's time to wake up. You already gave Pepper a near heart attack," he said flatly.

_Don't wanna,_ she told him.

"Do you want me to make breakfast?"he asked.

_Not my problem if the kitchen is burnt down. At least you're reasonably competent,_ she said.

The 'tiger' yawned widely, and at the smell of coffee the two cats turned into a sleepy Dean and Cas.

The kids barely stirred as Jade rolled over, still snoring.

Tony still found it hilarious that his assistant nearly had a heart attack from an overgrown kitten like Jade was in her tiger form.


End file.
